This is how, once again, everyone has returned to consider whether or not having sex four times a week is normal. Assuming that “normal” exists only from a statistical point of view and as a synonym for “frequent” or “usual”, we should refer to the data available in this regard. There is research, such as that carried out by psychologist Amy a professor at the University of York in Canada, which indicates that to have a happy relationship, the ideal is to have sexual encounters once a week. In addition, she added that increasing this frequency did not imply improving the quality of the couple’s relationship. In this way, rather than doing it more or less than the neighbor, the key would be to maintain an active and regular sexual life, to maintain a quality bond.
Along these lines, a 2017 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior concluded that the average adult has sex 54 times a year. That, doing the old woman’s account, is precisely that, a weekly sexual encounter.
Of course, these general figures begin to vary when the analysis is deepened and differences are seen between people who are more or less young or from different countries. In 2012, the Durex Report carried out by the consulting firm Harris Interactive at a global level, revealed that 74% of Spaniards had sexual relations at least once a week. This made Spain the eighth country in terms of sexual frequency, tied with Switzerland, of the 26 analyzed in this list. The Greeks and Brazilians led the same with 87% and 82% respectively. At the other extreme were the Japanese, among whom only one in three reported having had sex in the week prior to the survey, followed by the US and Nigerians (both at 53%).
In fact, returning to the Affleck marriage, we must reflect that sexual ardor seems to be fading among Americans, with the entry of the new century. And it is that a report published in JAMA Network Open indicated that from 2000 to 2018, almost one in three men in the United States between the ages of 18 and 24 reported not having had sexual activity in the last year. Perhaps this was the reason why Jennifer Lopez, of Latin descent, wanted to have some sexual security.
In the case of Spain, a couple of years before the pandemic, the Ulises study, prepared by the company My Word for 20 minutes , concluded that 42.2% of the adult population had had shared sex at least once a year. the week in the last year. Although this figure seemed to be somewhat lower, it was surprising that of people between 35 and 44 years old, 29% said they had sex with their partners at least three to four times a week. Even half of the people who lived with their partner and children had sex at least once a week.
Reviewing more recent data, the pandemic does not seem to have diminished the desire, quite the opposite. Thus, the lubricant brand Lubets carried out a survey among 2,000 Spaniards in 2022, stating that the Spanish average now currently amounted to 2.5 times per week, although, yes, with differences between Autonomous Communities. For example, in Castilla León , the inhabitants of the province of Salamanca were animated with up to 3.4 weekly relationships. However, the figure dropped to 1.8 relations per week in the case of Cantabria and the Balearic Islands.
The problem with all these types of surveys is that they do not always reflect reality. To begin with, because it only measures genital contact, when sexual intercourse is something that can go much further. And, finally, because people respond, consciously or unconsciously, under pressure to meet that ideal standard that it seems that we have all set for ourselves.
“ Carrying out general surveys on sex in a country like ours is not very reliable, since it usually has the obvious bias of ‘social desirability’, in which each person answers what they think they ‘should’ answer or what the person who asks wants to hear and not reality”, reflects the sexologist Iván Rotella .
Although the underlying problem is having an obsession with mixing numbers and sex. For measuring insights (also in a heteronormative model, now outdated) instead of thinking about the quality of relationships. That is why the expert makes a clear message: “There is no established or regulated frequency. There is no rule about how our partner has to be. We can choose together what format of couple we want to be, that it be ours, whether or not it resembles what other people or couples do.
The also sexologist Arola Poch agrees with this idea . “Measuring in sex is usually of little use. Neither frequencies, nor measurements, nor number of orgasms… The important thing is that we are satisfied with our sexual life and many times that has more to do with quality than quantity”.